Saturday, December 6, 2008


2008 was a real motherfucker.
i mean, not really, but kind of.
our album came out (a full year after it was recorded) and we went on tour. a lot.
we worked really hard this year and all we have to show for it is massive debt (both band and personal), mental instability, shattered relationships and the overall disdain of everyone we work with.
but i'm not bitter.
i'm more like an olive- kind of briny, pickle-ish... but tasty.
if this all sounds super whiny, it is. it's what i do. i whine.
and look, i realize our album is kinda crappy, people have been telling us that from the start, but that's just the way we made it and that's the way we like it. if people don't like it, they should go listen to something better- like bon iver. or bon scott era ac/dc.
as the great robert wyatt once wrote:
"you may notice some technical inadequacies in some of my performances- a hesitant beat here, a dodgy note there- these are of course entirely deliberate and reproduced as evidence of my almost painful sincerity."
totally, dude.

anyway, because it's that time of the year, i thought i'd do a couple year end top ten lists myself. and sticking with the theme of whining, here's:


1. ladyhawke related shit-
yes, we know that there's another ladyhawk(e). no, we don't care. why do you? is this ACTUALLY confusing to people? do we have to change our fucking band name?

2. guys who talk about beards-
this applies to both music writers and guys (and it's ALWAYS guys) on the street or at shows. dudes are always saying shit to me like "hey, sweet beard, man" or they just want to talk about my beard. i NEVER do that to other guys with beards. honestly, what the fuck is up with that? some dudes even want to touch it. music writers always think they're being super clever and use the fucking dumb made up term "beardos" when they talk about us- like weirdos, but with an extra beard reference thrown in all sneaky! GET IT?? why do people always mention the fact that we have facial hair? if i was writing about a band i wouldn't mention the fact that certain members have boobs or perms or whatever. i just really fucking hate shaving.

3. alcohol references (sorry, another one aimed at music writers)-
look, i realize we did this one to ourselves. fully. we deserve it. but it's still annoying to constantly hear yourself refered to as "booze-soaked" when you really don't drink THAT much. i mean, i don't drink that much, the other guys are DRUNKS!

4. stupid, boring interview questions-
i also realize it's lame to complain about doing interviews, like "oooh, poor me, people are interested in what i think about things...", but does anyone honestly care about shit like "where did you get your band name?" or "how did your band start?"? NOBODY cares about that shit! and nobody really cares what i think about things and they shouldn't.

5. sound guys-
hey dude, i think your ponytail's too tight. these guys take their job pretty seriously, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but after hearing the same lecture about stage volume and turning down literally hundreds of times, WE FUCKING GET IT! that doesn't mean we're going to turn down. i'm sure anybody that plays in a guitar-based rock band can feel me on this. i also love it when sound guys "join the band" and feel they can just throw all kinds of shitty digital reverb and delay all over the vocals. it cracks me up every time.

6. being broke-
we make NOOOO money. thing is, i still have to pay rent for all those months i'm away on tour and i can't work when i'm not around, so there's not really any money coming in most of the time. it's also pretty hard to find a job that's cool with you leaving all the time. it's rad to borrow money from your parents when you're 30 because you play in a band and can't buy groceries.

7. drink tickets-
its also lame to complain about getting free drinks, but when you're trying to survive on a $10 per diem, tipping the bartender kind of stings. we usually only get 3 tickets per band member, so it's also pretty difficult to cultivate that "booze-soaked" image we're known for.

8. my amp-
no comment. anybody want to buy an amp?

9. "club night"-
i understand that bars need to make money and that they can make more money if they double book the night, rushing everyone, including the bands, out early so dj's can set up and all new people can come in and get drunk. it makes sense, but fuck off.

10. sketchy promoters trying to rip off bands-
it happens all the time and it sucks.

bla bla bla... god, complain much? yeesh!

here's my top ten albums of 2008 (in no particular order):

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david bowie- young americans
some of this sounds a bit too g.e. smith and the saturday night live band, but the song "win" kills me every time.

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yaz- upstairs at eric's
i've been obsessed with vince clarke all year. he also did all the music on depeche mode's (pre heroin) debut album that's been ruling me as well.

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the grateful dead- s/t
it's no secret that i love the dead. lately i've really been jamming their first album, it makes me want to do a shit-load of speed next time we record.

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laid back- keep smiling
best. album. ever.
best. cover. ever.

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fleetwood mac- tusk
this is what millions of dollars, 2 years of studio time and mountains of cocaine can get you- a sprawling monster double album/difficult artistic statement that alienates almost all of your fans, but actually deeply rules. i've cried listening to this more than once. totally emo.

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no kids- come into my house
nick krgovich is a genius.

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tommy james and the shondells- the best of tommy james and the shondells
come on... crimson and clover? i think we're alone now? forget about it. i just want to make music that sounds like this.

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double negative- the wonderful and frightening world of double negative
the last time we played in chapel hill, these guys were the only people at our show. for some reason they like our band. anyway, after the show one of the dudes gave me a copy of this album and it totally fucking kills.

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crass- stations of the crass
i'll admit, i rarely make it all the way through this album in one go. let's just say it's a little... preachy. but it's got some jams.

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guided by voices- alien lanes
28 short songs that are really more like one long song. this has probably been in my top 10 since it came out.

honerable mention: anything by the dwight twilley band.

hey, wait a minute! only one of those albums came out in 2008! turns out we weren't the only ones releasing crappy albums this year, so was EVERYONE ELSE!
just kidding, there were probably lots of good albums released in 2008, i just have no interest in hearing them. that's just me.

AND there's no better way to celebrate christmas than by listening to grim, satanic black metal! so here's my top 10 all-time favorite black metal albums (also in no particular order)...

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bathory- the return
pretty much the first "actual" black metal album and kind of the best. i listened to this once on a faulty record player that kept slowing down and speeding up and got thoroughly creeped out.

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ulver- nattens madrigal
there's a legend that this was recorded in the forest under the full moon. obviously bullshit. the guitar sound on this album is insane. ulver means wolves in norwegian, pretty badass.

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mayhem- live in leipzig
apparently the only surviving recording of the legendary line-up featuring dead, euronymous and varg vikarnes. if you don't know the dirt on these dudes, look it up. this recording is so shitty, but completely ripping and includes between song banter in "grim" voice.

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emperor- anthems to the welkin at dusk
emperor gets props for being ambitious, even if their "symphonic" elements are just kind of cheesy synth lines. the overall effect is one of swirling, buzzing, chaotic noise, everything is lost in an almost ambient haze. kind of the my bloody valentine of black metal (that's a joke. is it just me or is my bloody valentine the most overly name-checked band EVER? i mean, i love my bloody valentine, EVERYBODY loves my bloody valentine. let's all just shut the fuck up about it!)

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black witchery/conqueror- hellstorm of evil vengeance (split)
i'm not so much into the conqueror stuff (but it's technically more "war metal" anyway), but the black witchery songs are easily the shittiest, fastest, most brutal shit around. nothing but straight blast beats all the way. also, great title, guys.

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xasthur- the funeral of being
this shit is totally emo.

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gorgoroth- under the sign of hell
gorgoroth is ACTUALLY scary. they make most other black metal bands look like bon iver. you should really check out's excellent documentary about gorgoroth's main guy gaahl. totally insane.

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darkthrone- a blaze in the northern sky
this just sounds like a crusty, lo-fi version of shitty early 90's hardcore and it truly doesn't get much better than that.

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burzum- aske e.p.
i can't really look past some of the shittier aspects of varg vikarnes character (murderer, white supremecist..), but nobody has a better black metal howl than him.

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immortal- battles in the north
these guys are kind of like the savage garden of black metal.

p.s. if you ever get bored just youtube "funny metallica moments"... remember when those guys were actually "booze-soaked"?

see you in the new year!
and if not, see you in hell!


Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that I really like the new album, imperfections and all. Fuck the naysayers and keep doing what you do best. I've been playing it once a day since I picked it up after the all songs considered year end recap. As far as the Ladyhawke dispute, I have her album and it's shit. Know why, because it overproduced and has no flaws (and no soul).

liz said...

aww bud. i understand (sorta)
new year? fuck whatever!
ok but why i'm commenting on here is because i'm glad you wrote on here. you should do it more often cause i love reading it.

Margo Lane said...

I don't know how I overlooked this post but I'm glad I caught it - you're funny.

Also, I've probably mentioned it to you many times before but I also fucking hate how all interviews make you guys sound like alcoholics. Isn't it supposed to be about the music, man? And I don't think you guys are lushy at all. Fuck 'em all!

Unknown said...

Okay...I'm just some nerd from Tennessee who you don't know, so take my opinion for what it's worth, which may not be much.

First, I wouldn't know about you guys if Justin from Double Negative hadn't given me a copy of your first album, sure that I would fucking love it. He was right. So, while he, his wife (my best friend), and a couple of other guys from his band were the only people at the Chapel Hill show, I was getting a call from them telling me to go to the Nashville show. I was one of a few people there including some shit-faced Canadian girls who were in town trying to break into country music. I went by myself because I couldn't get anyone to go with me because they had other shit to do and didn't know who Ladyhawk was. At some point I ended up talking to the guy from Neva Dinova, who I had never heard of, and assumed that he must be in Ladyhawk since I had no idea what any of you looked like, let alone that you all had beards with which boring interviews could be sustained. He corrected me and I felt like a douchebag, but I didn't really care because I was going to hear Sad Eyes/Blue Eyes that night and that was enough for me.

Long story short, I have been wanting to see you guys again since and have considering traveling some distance to do so. There is NOTHING "bad" about "Shots." I fucking love it and I rock that fucking album weekly. I have pushed your band onto many of my friends with fervor and I wear my Ladyhawk t-shirt proudly, explaining when people ask that Ladyhawk is currently one of my favorite bands.

I'm sorry you're not making any money, but please, please don't stop making music. And next time you're in Nashville and you only have three drink tickets, just yell out "Rosemary!" And I will come bearing beer for all and maybe even a few whiskey shots.

Rosemary, the superfan.

Scott said...

Wow, somebody just told me about your listing of us...shit, fucking awesome! Too bad ya'll didn't play Raleigh would have kicked ass. Raleigh is the ONLY place to play in NC..Chapel Hill has always sucked. Please come back this way again. Personally..I dig all Ladyhawk recordings...I think we have similiar taste in music, just going by your list...but seriously...Crass really shines on Penis Envy. We just played ATP's Nightmare Before Christmas a couple weeks ago...if we ever host an ATP..youze guys be firsts on our list..for real. Oh yea...I need another tshirt...mine totally ripped...wanna trade?

I'm not sure if they have christmas in Canada..what do ya'll have... something like..Beaver Boat Day, to celebrate the Hudson Bay Company but if you do...have a happy New Year..

rock on in 2009!

White Rose said...

David Bowie, Double Negative and Crass! Excellent!

Bill said...

yeah that ulver album is really good.

hmc1410 said...

"i realize our album is kinda crappy,"

So does that mean I have crappy taste because your album was one of my 10 favorite albums of the year?

Sorry I missed you last time through Chicago, but I was 5,000 miles away. Come back and I promise to be there AND buy you a drink, tip and all.

Have You Heard said...

Thats my top ten show and it's been distributed to over a thousand people all over the world. Listen and figure out where you were on the list :)

Garnet said...

I think your self-hatred may be a shtick of some kind, but understand: your album's fricking great.

Colin said...

being poor sucks. listening the fight for anarchy 12" in the morning over cereal helps me get through the day though.

Liam Colle said...

shots is awesome.

it made my top10 of the year:

canard said...

Hmmmm. I didn't know you were into black metal. Anyway, I thought "Shots" was a great record. I really enjoyed it and felt it had a cohesive mood and vibe. Most importantly, it sounded like a real band should sound. I love it when critics talk about how something sounds "overproduced" and then when they are handed something that has natural guitar, bass, drum sounds on it, they freak out and call if "lo-fi" or some shit like that. I love your band. As a matter of fact, my wife and I traveled from Florida to Boston to hear you play (our unborn also heard you!). I used to be in a band and we did one tour and when we played Boston it was at the Middle East. We suffered the same problem with the "beer soaked" image. Yes, we liked to get fucking drunk, so what. I once saw Grant Hart drink almost a case of beer on stage and few have described Husker Du as "beer" or "booze" soaked. This comment is too long and "comma soaked".

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